10 posts from September 2007

Ok let me step up to the plate here and be very atypical as far as macho SA men go. We aren't all assholes!

There are a huge amount of us though that would like the world to believe that we have a plate of barbed wire for breakfast!

So to all of you guys out there that like calling your friends 'bud' and 'boet' and refer to other guys as 'okes' get into your 4x4 buy a bottle of Klippies and go and watch your old rugby videos and stop reading my blog!

And to the shallow woman out there that are attracted to these “okes” - enjoy, just don't come crying on a real man's shoulders when your emotional, spiritual, mental, romantic and all those other sometimes bothersome little issues get overlooked in the heat of the moment.

Picture this OK?

Any relationship should start with trust, then friendship and then love. Right!

What often happens though, in a one night stand scenario is that we start off with the love (sex), then try to be friends and then we try to trust each other??

Go figure!!

Sometimes people need your love the most when they least deserve it. - Erma Bombeck

Could it be possible that some insecure women may harbor a subconscious fear that if we are successful we may become a more attractive proposition to other women, in direct proportion to the level of our success?

Could the endless complaining we often hear about spending too much time at the office or the statements such as 'you can't buy love' or 'there is more to life than money' be an attempt to satisfy the subconscious fear and make us believe in our mundane, average, cash strapped lives, that "at least my wife loves and supports me, she knows how difficult it is to get ahead and make a go of things" - no matter what happens I know she is the only one that will put up with this constant struggle, I am so lucky to have her!

Have we not possibly shot ourselves in the proverbial foot, so to speak?

This is a guy example but it cuts both ways.

We see a sexy young girl in a short revealing red dress at the water cooler at work., we woo her, romance her take her out for about a year, never saying a thing about the way she dresses because we don't want to lose her, then we marry her, go on honeymoon get back and on the first day of work she puts on the sexy red dress. Our response, "you are not going to work dressed as a slut!"

Girls do the same but normally with sport, hobbies, partying, drinking etc.

WHY DO WE FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME ONE BECAUSE OF THE WAY THEY ARE AND THEN WHEN WE MARRY THEM, TRY & CHANGE THEM.

Men in general have been demeaned in their own way too.

So many men are brought up with the tough "cowboys don't cry" mentality. They find it so difficult to verbalise their insecurities lest they somehow reveal a soft, emotional being that is needing what all humans need.

It takes a special woman to understand this, as very often woman are drawn to a macho, strong man and are surprised when he reveals himself, some again believe that it is a sign of weakness.

I believe that a lot of this has to do with our paternalistic society and that both sons and daughters have been damaged by this.

Women that have been "Daddy's favourite" sometimes have such unrealistic expectations of their husbands.

Daddy doesn't always know whats best, neither do governments, doctors, lawyers, the police and all the other macho paternalist establishments out there.

Only men can change this, it is true that we will pay for the sins of our father.

I attended a wedding yesterday and had the opportunity of watching all the young couples at play.

I watched all of the impossibly beautiful young girls and suddenly realised how we took them for granted when we were young.

How many times do you see a young man who is quite happy to win a popularity contest amongst his friends even if it means demeaning the beautiful young woman by his side.

They get drunk in front of them, drive them in fast cars, mock them in front of their friends and boast about how badly they treat them when they are alone with their other idiotic cohorts.

When you are older and you watch these beautiful young creatures, so full of life and you envy the young men with them, remember you too had the chance to cherish them.

Instead you treated them with such disdain, almost as if you were doing them a favour, as if you didn't really need them, all the time using them in your macho bravado.

So when you are older and realize how you would cherish a young woman if you had the chance,

remember you had your chance and now you are alone, little wonder.

Cherish the woman of your youth, for all to soon your opportunity will pass you by, cherish the woman of your life, no matter what her age, for very soon the opportunity will pass you by.